


What I Have Been Through

by whitelder



Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: F/F, Mentions of Cancer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25197622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitelder/pseuds/whitelder
Summary: Andy has a secret.
Relationships: Emily Charlton/Serena, Miranda Priestly/Andrea Sachs
Comments: 3
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after my mum had her partial mastectomy for breast cancer, a cancer which took her in 2013. It was cathartic at the time.

“Andrea” Miranda called from within her office “bring me the red floor length Jean Paul Gautier from the closet” Andrea rose from her seat and darted to the closet, taking the dress off the rack and waving to the closet maintainers she darted out again and went back to the office. Entering Miranda’s office she set the dress down on the rack that was permanently in Miranda’s office and turned to leave. “Andrea” she heard Miranda say“I want you to put this dress on and model it, I want to see how it sits on your size six frame” Miranda pursed her lips at this and waited.  
Taking up the dress again Andrea prepares to put it on in the privacy of the bathroom but stops as Miranda once again calls her name “Andrea, I did not dismiss you, you will put the dress on here, I do not care about your underclothes I see naked woman everyday so just do it and not at a glacial pace either” So Andrea prepares to put on the dress, to keep modesty Andrea shuts the door and keeps her back to Miranda while shimmying out of her dress, she about to put on the other one but she stops as she feels Miranda’s eyes on her back. Turning slightly, she looks at her boss and see’s her slightly widened eyes “shit “ Andrea says to herself realizing that part of her scar is showing. Trying desperately to cover it up before Miranda sees any more she is stopped by Miranda clearing her throat “ Andrea I want you to turn around.” Unused to that tone coming from Miranda, Andrea, with a blush on her cheeks and a proud tilt to her head complies.

The gasp that escaped from Miranda’s mouth was startling to both of them as Miranda doesn’t normally show any emotions. What Miranda was seeing and what Andrea had tried to cover up was a long red scar where Andrea’s breasts should have been, Andrea at some point had had a double mastectomy. Miranda’s hand came up tentatively as if she wanted to trace the scar but then dropped back to her side. Seeing Miranda’s hand come up then drop again Andrea said to her, “Miranda, if you want to touch its fine.”  
With Andrea’s permission given, and the look on her face at the situation she was in, Miranda gently traced the scar with two shaking fingers.

Looking up at Andrea and still tracing the scar she see’s the pain and memory flash in Andrea’s eyes. “What happened? Miranda asked quietly.

“I had a double mastectomy when I was 21, I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 20, it was resistant to chemotherapy and there was too much to remove, my only option was what you see before you, I normally wear fake breasts out and about but forgot to put them in this morning, my first lover was the person who found the lumps and went with me to my specialist who diagnosed me, however it was all too much hassle and responsibility for them so they left me. Nate was different, Nate saw me for me, not my missing assets, but now he is gone as well but not because of the lack of breasts. I came through the other side Miranda and am proud of it. I don’t miss my breasts but I still have the reminder of what I went through, it has made me a better person and before you ask I could not afford to have reconstruction, and there was not enough tissue left to make it viable.”

As Andrea talked Miranda watched her and the door simultaneously, it would not do to have someone barge into the office at this moment and see the fashonista appear to be fondling her assistant’s breasts.  
Taking her hand away from Andrea she caught the slight shiver that wracked Andrea’s body and the slight dilation of her pupils. Even if there was no breast tissue there, the sensitive nerves still where and the look on Andrea’s face sent Miranda’s libido to a new level.

Shaking her head and forestalling Andrea’s words that had turned into rambling Miranda said in a gentler tone “Put the dress on Andrea and model it for me, you may no longer have the assets to fill this dress but as you so eloquently put it, it is not a problem in the slightest for you.”

So Andrea did, pulling the dress over her frame and modeling it for Miranda, no longer self conscious about her lack of breasts. As she turned and spun to Miranda’s directions she realized that there was a look on Miranda’s face that she had never seen before, a look of compassion and the slightest hint of barely contained lust.

Miranda asked her to stop and remove the dress, content as to what she saw while making Andrea dizzy with the twisting and turning. “You may get dressed again now Andrea” Miranda said and so Andrea did, no longer self conscious that her boss was seeing her half naked, taking off the dress and hanging it on the rack before putting her own dress on again she waited for Miranda’s next command. “Andrea, take that dress back down to the closet and come back in here, do not move at a glacial pace like you did when you first got this dress from my closet, I want to leave on time tonight”

Andrea removed the dress from the rack where she had placed it moments before and opened Miranda’s door, walking out she caught Emily’s weird and exasperated look and just smiled sheepishly at her.

Andrea used the elevator this time to get down to the closet and put the dress on the rack to be put away. Catching the elevator back up again she stood in Miranda’s office and waited, Miranda was giving orders to Emily stating in her clipped tone that Emily was to cancel all appointments for the rest of the afternoon and to go home, leaving Andrea in charge for the rest of the night and delivering the book. Emily’s quick look of relief did not go unnoticed to Miranda but the only comment she made was a raised eyebrow. Unbeknown to everyone at Runway, Emily had a date tonight with a tall tanned ex supermodel from the graphics department named Serena.


	2. Chapter 2

Serena had once been working above Emily as Miranda’s first assistant but had done her tenure as first assistant and was deemed ready for greater responsibility. Emily had, had a crush on her since she first started at Runway and on Serena’s last day they finally realized what had developed between them and decided to act upon it, now that they could. This was Emily and Serena’s 12th date, their 6th official one and Emily had waited long enough to see the Brazilian goddess writhing underneath her, Emily had a lot to plan so the early night off was a blessing in disguise.

Miranda did know about Emily and Serena however, but ever the businesswoman she kept that trump card up her sleeve as leverage for a later date.

Andrea stood to attention, waiting for Miranda to give her instructions for the afternoon and evening. Miranda dismissed Emily with a wave of her hand and turned to Andrea. Looking over the top of her reading glasses she said “Ah I see you took my instructions to heart and didn’t take your time dropping that dress off, you are dismissed for now, go about your business and ensure that the book is delivered promptly tonight, That’s all”.

Miranda turned back to her computer, completely ignoring Andrea who turned on her heels and started to head back to her desk, feeling a little upset at the curt tone Miranda had used. Before she reached her desk she heard Miranda say “Andrea, shut the door,” So she did and then proceeded to sit herself down in her chair behind her desk and get on with the job of arranging Miranda Priestly.

Meanwhile, Miranda was on the internet, fingers dancing over her laptop looking up information on a double Mastectomy’s in an attempt to find out everything she could about the operation that Andrea had had no choice but to undergo.

They both where so engrossed in their individual tasks that neither of them were watching the time. Miranda, realizing that the reading light was getting dimmer, looked up from the computer at the clock on her wall; it has just gone 7pm. She shut her computer down, rising from the desk before walking out of the office. Andrea was dozing slightly in her chair but came instantly awake when Miranda entered. “Coat, bag,” Miranda ordered and Andrea was quick to comply. Placing Miranda’s coat on, the young assistant accidentally brushed a long fingered hand softly against Miranda’s shoulder. Andrea heard the slightest intake of breath and eyes zeroing in on a shiver that bristled up Miranda’s spine. But Andrea chose to ignore it, her hand flying out to give Miranda her clutch, watching as the older woman walked out the office and into the waiting elevator. A small smile flicking onto her lips as everyone hurried out, emptying for the editor because, as everybody knows, no one rides in an elevator with Miranda Priestly.

As the last ding and closing of the elevator doors subsided in the quiet hallways of Runway it all came crashing down on Andrea, crumpling to the floor she reflected on the day. She had just been touched, caressed even, by Miranda and, like no one ever before, Miranda had gotten her to bare her soul about her ordeal at the hands of a surgeon who had no choice.

Tears gently began to fall but Andrea angrily wiped them away. She had not cried since she had woken up from the surgery to find herself without breasts. It had taken her many months to recuperate from the chemotherapy that they tried unsuccessfully to help her fight, her hair had fallen out and she had had to purchase a wig to wear until her hair had grown back, and grow back it eventually did, much darker then before.

Rising from her prone position on the floor she gathered her things and made ready to leave, she was just waiting on the book now, which, promptly at 9pm was placed into her hands. Making a quick stop to the ladies room to check her makeup and clean away the mascara that had run down her face she headed down to the waiting car and then to Miranda’s townhouse.


	3. Chapter 3

Arriving with the dry cleaning and the book at 10 minutes to ten o’clock Andrea let herself into the house to find all but two lights off, the hall light and Miranda’s sitting room light. Putting the items away in the hall closet and shutting the door gently she was about to place the book on the hall table when she heard Miranda call her name from the sitting room.  
Pivoting on her heel she walked into the room to find Miranda on the couch with her hand out for the book but also with two glasses of deep red wine in front of her. Handing it over, Andrea was surprised to feel Miranda’s hand on her wrist stopping her from leaving, “Andrea, I want you to sit and take wine with me” This coming from The Miranda Priestly was a rarity, one that Andrea knew better then to not accept, especially if she wanted to keep her job.  
Perching on the edge of the lounge as far away from Miranda as possible, she accepted the offered wine glass and sipped it slowly. They sat in silence for a few moments until,  
“Have you eaten Andrea”, “ No Miranda” Andrea replied and started as Miranda arose from the couch, wine glass in hand and walked out of the room, with a backward glance to Andrea to give her permission to follow deeper into the house.

Entering the spacious kitchen, Andrea couldn’t help the slight gasp that left her mouth; the kitchen was the size of her whole flat and then some. Miranda gestured imperiously to a stool pulled up to the breakfast bar, taking the hint, Andrea sat and watched as Miranda pulled out leftover’s from her families nightly meal and reheated them in the stainless steel microwave that sat above the oven on the back wall of the kitchen, near the fridge.  
The smell was heavenly coming from the microwave and was making Andrea practically swoon in delight, not only because of the smell but also because of the person doing the reheating, Miranda Priestly. It was unusual to see Miranda so relaxed and comfortable, walking around in the same grey robe that she wore in Paris that fateful night that Andrea had made her decision to stay and become the best assistant Miranda had ever had, baring Emily.  
The ding of the microwave brought both Miranda and Andrea back to the present; Miranda turned and grabbed some oven mitts and proceeded to dish out the steaming portion into a bowl for Andrea to eat. Placing it in front of her, Miranda sat and watched as she ate , watching the emotions flit on her face; from wonder to ecstasy to nervousness and back again. Looking up shyly as she finished the last bite of the delicious soup she gave Miranda a slight thank you smile, Miranda inclined her head and took the dish to the sink, ready for the housekeeper the next morning.

Walking back to the sitting room with wine glasses filled again, they sat a little closer this time but still not within touching distance. The silence that descended was comfortable for the two of them, that was until Miranda said quietly “What I saw today, I have never seen before in someone so young, the decision that was made was something nobody should ever have to face and yet you did, what I wanted to say earlier to you was that I am proud of you, not as your boss but as a fellow woman, a woman who knows somewhat what has happened to you” Sitting up and facing Miranda, Andrea looked at her, waiting for her words. Miranda could not make eye contact for this part so she stayed looking at the half empty wine glass between her hands “When I was 37 and directly after my beautiful twin girls where born I was forced to have a total Ovariohysterectomy, completely destroying my chances of continuing my family and in the process destroying my first marriage. The second marriage I had, I didn’t tell him until after our nuptials that I was unable to have children, at that stage I had thrown myself back into work again and was raising my children through their nanny, who I eventually found in bed with my second husband, giving me just grounds for divorce, thanks to the air tight pre nup I made, he got nothing!” Miranda released a breath and continued.

“Stephen my third and final!”, Miranda clenched her jaw, “husband was a charming man, who played to my every whim and desire, while he was trying to get into my pants and my money. As soon as that ring was on my finger he changed, he became controlling, tried to keep my girls away from me, and tried to send them away so that he could have me all to himself. Please remember that at this time my beautiful babies where only 9 years old, very much too young for what Stephen had planned for them behind my back” Miranda’s voice rose slightly from its gentle pitch. “As soon as I found out about his plan, from my own girls no less, he was out on his rear with only the clothes on his back that I had so generously provided for him, to say he was angry would have been an understatement, he tried to throw the workaholic, bisexual" at this Miranda stopped abruptly and looked sideways at Andrea to see if she had noticed Miranda’s slip.

The wine must have been getting to Miranda for her to have such a monumental slip, a piece of information that no one had ever been told before, not her girls, not even her closest relatives. The look on Andrea’s face was gentle; she simply waved her hand at Miranda to pick up where she left off, not willing to disrupt the flow of Miranda’s story.

Andrea was feeling honored and privileged that Miranda Priestly was being so unguarded towards her, the level of trust that one simple action of allowing Miranda to touch her scar had produced was amazing and Andrea never wanted to lose it. Her feelings for Miranda had surfaced since the day that Nate had left her because he couldn’t handle her job and the pressures that came with it. The shallowness of him had astounded Andrea more then the fact that he couldn’t see past her previous life to the person she was now. Her first relationship was different, extremely different; her first lover was kind, gentle and taught her all she needed to know about love, caring and devotion even if in the end it became too much.  
They had parted on good but strained terms, Andy living day to day, fighting the cancer and the bone dead weariness from the chemotherapy and her lover watching as the woman she loved was melted away before her eyes, skin and bones. Andy thought as Miranda took a breath to continue that she should show Miranda the picture that was taken of Andrea in the middle of her chemotherapy, show Miranda what a size 0 actually looked like with just underwear on, it may make Miranda take a good look at the fashion industry but it was not likely that would happen.

Miranda began to speak again, buoyed by Andrea’s non comment to her slip…”mother who was never there for her children and husband, who he believed paid more attention to her work then her children, he who stayed out past midnight drinking almost every night with his work partners, drinking and going to clubs to pick up uncouth woman and sometimes even men to take and do what they will with. Many a time in our extremely short marriage did I have to go and get him from the seedier parts of Manhattan pick him up out of the gutter and drag him home, getting Roy to bodily drag him upstairs and into the guest bedroom. By the time this happened more then five times in one month I was getting quite sick of him and his antics and the amount of alcohol he was consuming was turning him a pasty yellow color, on top of what he was planning in his sober moments it was just the final straw.” She breathed out explosively and unclenched her white knuckled fists


End file.
